This weekend..

This weekend sucked.. it started Friday and just got worse..

I was super emotional this weekend (damn hormones and PMS.. always comes at the most unopportune times) add that to drinks and instead of the usual happy fun drinking K you get the depressed one..

So Saturday, I found out C got married.. and like I said in the post before this one.. I honestly hope this is it for him and that he found his happiness.. Not going to lie though.. When I first found out.. I was pissed... I was so angry that here were these two people who royally screwed me over and they were getting thier "happiness" they were getting what I always wanted.. but then I got over it.. because you know what.. she doesn't know half the shit he has done since they've been together that I do.. she doesn't know that he cheated on her with not only me.. but more than likely other women.. she is the stupid one, he cheated on me for her.. what the hell makes her think that he wouldn't do it to her.. and with that I get the "revenge" that I craved.. because Karma is a bitch.

Then last night... I come home from the bar and S is at his mom's house.. awesome.. that kind of sent me into a tailspin for about 3.5 seconds and then I thought.. well it's his loss, he could have had me.. he is the one who screwed up.. so from here on out, neither of these two guys will have any control over my heart or feelings or anything.. because both of them are the ones that messed up.. both of them at some point have realized that they screwed me over and that they may possibly want me back.. and both of them have been shot down... and in that.. there is some comfort to me, that I know I will not let another man ever treat me the way I've been treated in the past.. I will never let another man make me feel that way..

I am the strongest I have ever been, and I will continue to grow stronger.. and one day there will be a man that comes along that is worth everything that I have to offer. I just know it.