It's not over...

Yesterday was my court date for my divorce... it was suppose to be the end to this chapter.. it was suppose to be the beginning of me again, completely me.. with no left over baggage... no last name that I obtained from him...

but it wasn't... I got to the courtroom only to be told I was missing a stupid bullshit piece of paper that said the same thing all other 5 pieces of paper had on it.

I got the paper and took it back up there... only to be told that my case had been dismissed and that I would have to re-file... another $265... I'm glad they think I'm made out of money... but really thats not even the big problem..

The big problem I have is that I have been waiting 14 months for this to be over... and now it's going to be at least another 2-2.5 months before I can even have that hope that it will be over..

His baby will be almost 6 months old... talk about a slap in the face considering that is pretty much why we split up according to him... because he wasn't ready for a child... yet come to find out his gf was already pregnant before we even split up...

I'm at the lowest point right now that I have been for a looooong looong time... this hurts even more than him leaving, this hurts even more than finding out he cheated on me, even more than finding out he had a baby with another woman.... I feel like I will never be able to fully get away and that this is going to be an ongoing thing...

I feel like I will never be free again...