This weekend was quiet for the most part.. I spend a lot of time thinking about things and sorting things out and I feel so much better. I got back to working out this weekend and I finally feel better.
I have more hope for the future and ready to take on the world.. 2 months.. I can do this I have gone 14 months as of today... I can make it 2 more months...
But in those two months I am going to start living as if I am divorced.. I'm not going to worry about it anymore.. After this friday when I refile I won't think about it again until my court date. Life is too short to worry about dumbass people who have tried their hardest to ruin your life.. and I'm not letting him do that to me anymore...
As a matter of fact I started this way of thinking this weekend.. I went out with one of my girls.. and as she put it.. I was "ballsy" haha I have never been told that. I talked to a lot of people this weekend.. men and women. I put my self out there where as I usually play the shy card. I told this dude he was hot and the way he danced was sexy. I talked to this guy I have thought was hot since he was in my history class 3 semesters ago but could never work up the courage to do so. I talked to a woman at the bar and invited her to hang out with me and my friend. I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE! and at the end of the night I left smiling..
I didn't care what people thought. I had actually only had about 3 beers so I wasn't drunk. I just set myself on having fun and that's what I did. I ended up being the only person out on the dance floor at one point and I didn't care. I had fun.
This is who I want to be... this is who I have been trying to be for the past 14 months but still felt I couldn't be exactly who I am. Now I don't care anymore.. so what I don't have my last name back.. I'm still under his last name.. he doesn't own me (never did despite what he thought) or influence who I am
anymore.. and I refuse to live as though he does anymore.
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