I was thinking about my post yesterday about being scared of the future.. of being scared of falling in love again and trying for babies.. it all terrifies me but I also realized last night that I am terrified of the other side of it too
I'm terrified I'll never find someone.. how is it possible to go thru life with no partner at your side.. no one there to cheer you on or knock some sense into you when you need it. I know that while I'm doing ok being single.. I'd be much happier in a relationship.. not that I'm looking for someone to complete me.. I'm just a social person in the way that I need companionship that only a spouse, lover, significant other can give me.
I'm terrified I'll never have children.. I was sitting at my niece's gymnastics practice last night begging God to please one day grant me a daughter. I would love to be out there with my little girl.. watching her learn new things, having fun doing that kind of stuff.. I love being around children.. I love my nieces and love helping them learn new things and essentially help raise them.. I think I'm meant to be a mother in some shape or form.. I think I'd be good at it and the thought of never finding a husband.. of never having children really scare me.
So I guess I'm totally afraid of every side that could come out of my future.. definitely a dilemma to be in..
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