All Woe is me..

That's exactly what I did in my last post.. and it's unacceptable.

I am not that weak little girl I was so long ago.. Yeah weak moments happen but really?? Reading back over that I sound like such a whiner.. lol

My life is actually pretty good right now.. I admit I'm sad about the end of the semester.. I don't know what I am going to do without being able to go to the dark room (my true happy place) for 3ish weeks.. I may go crazy!  But all in all I am right where I want to be. Yeah the holidays get to me sometimes.. especially at night when I begin to think about a beautiful little almost two year old I should have running around getting into things.. my house isn't very christmasy this year.. just haven't had the time.. Can't help but think that I would make the time for her if she was here.. but what can I do.. I miss my baby.. but I try not to dwell on it.. Life goes on you know?

Speaking of which.. After the last post I talked to my therapist about it.. and I am doing better now alone than I would be with someone (duh!) I don't know if I'm ready to date.. and really don't have the time for it.. and honestly the only time I think about it is on those lonely nights at home.. when I just wish there was someone there to keep me from thinking. But I can do that myself!! I just need to keep busy.

C filed for divorce.. after my failed attempt.. and I am waiting to be served.. the day he filed I called to see if I could pick the papers up.. but aparently I can't... so I wait.. blah.. Hopefully by the end of Jan. Everything will be complete and I will officially be a free and single woman..

Oh speaking of free.. Everyone that has been reading my blog for a while knows that on mine and C's 1st year anniversary as a married couple we went and got each other's initials tattoo'd on our ring fingers.. (I know.. I know..) well as of 3ish weeks ago.. I no longer have a C on my finger.. but a beautiful feather that reminds me of how free I am.. and how free my heart is.. I'm in love with it.. my artist did a great job covering it up and I no longer have a reminder of regrets that stare at me everyday.

Here it is in all it's swollen glory the night I got it..