4 months..

I've been a bad blogger.. but as it usually does, life got in the way.. between school and work, I've been completely crazy. The semester is almost over, I've already signed up for next semester's classes and I'm so proud of myself for making it thru the first one, I'm so proud that despite everything I've had going against me I am making my dream come true.

Today is 4 months since my life changed.. 4 months since C walked out those doors, since he told me that he didn't think we should be together anymore. Last night I was really struggling. I had seen him earlier that day, when he came by the shop to drop off some supplies and that was not the man I married.. that was not the man I fell in love with so long ago.. he has become a shell of his former self and that makes my heart hurt. I fear he may have gotten in with some bad people and some bad things, I wish there was something I could do but he chose this life, he decided that this is what he wanted and sometimes we have to live with the consequences..

Everyday I grow a little stronger.. I have my days, but all in all I'm a much happier, much "spunkier" person. I laugh and smile more, I actually find myself checking myself out in the mirror (oo la la =P). For a woman who use to think that she was so fat and ugly, I actually find myself thinking I am pretty, I am getting there.

I am still losing weight.. kinda stuck at 35lbs but I am down 4 pants sizes so far and the ones I'm wearing are feeling loose. I'm becoming the person I want to be.. I'm becoming the person I have always been.