Happiness

I've been told by numerous people this weekend that I am a different person, that I seem happier, more outgoing.. a side of me that many people haven't seen in a loooooooong time. I am happier.. I love my life right now.. Do I get lonely.. yes.. are there days that are harder then others.. yes.. but I have amazing friends and family to help me through this all and I have met some awesome people the past 8 weeks..

It's crazy that it has been 8 weeks since C came home and told me he wanted to be done. I was posting on Not Over about how if I am truthful with myself our marriage was done over a year ago.. he was present for about a month after losing Shiloh and then that was it.. we haven't had a marriage, we were roommates.. with benefits.. If I am truthful with myself we shouldn't have gotten back together after the first time we split up.

I haven't seen C in over 2 weeks.. I haven't talked to him in over a week.. and I find him popping into my head less and less now.. I finally feel free.. I always worried about pissing him off and now I just don't care. I am so ready to sign paperwork and be completely free.. yes he has a spot in my heart.. obviously.. but we will never be back together.. I have gained a whole new respect for myself and for all that I have accomplished.. all the strength I wasn't aware I had.


School is going well. I love my History Class and it is one of the highlights of my week. I can't wait until every Monday night. I am such a history nerd lol. I didn't realize how much I missed school and I can't wait until in a few year that will be my job! To be in school everyday enriching young minds, hopefully encouraging and inspiring kids the way my history teachers did.